Farewell Liam



Taken 3 -

(spoiler alert)
Liam Neeson is too old to play this role. He did great in the first movie, was slightly tired looking in the second film, but Taken 3 took the cake - Liam Neeson (aka Bryan Mills) looked like he was 105 years old. Especially during those chase scenes featuring Forest Whitaker as the chief of police, who’s invested a whole lot of time accusing Liam’s character of killing his wife (that’s right ladies and gents - Famke Janssen is killed in the beginning of the film). Her death is very anticlimactic and yet it is the catalyst that propels Liam back into his world of violence and espionage etc.

His daughter is still around too, but she is pretty useless. She just cries ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

I love Liam, but this movie didn’t need to happen.


C

Into the Woods was wickedly fun!



It was a full blown musical. From start to finish. Every actor had a singing role. *sings that last part

Here’s what I liked most. The original writers of the tale get mad props.
-James Lapine wrote the book
-Steven Sondheim wrote the music
James took four popular Brothers Grimm tales and wove them into one, single, extravagant fairytale. Ingenious really. More on the Brothers Grimm stuff in a minute.

The central character of the musical is the feisty old witch, played by the ever-so radiant Meryl Steep. I don’t think Meryl can do any wrong.

In order to reverse a curse she once set on the bakers house years ago, the baker (played by James Corden) and his wife (Emily Blunt) must go into the woods to find four outrageous and completely random items. They have just three days.

For my super curious readers, the items I speak of are …
a white cow,
a red cape,
a golden slipper, and
hair as yellow as corn.

The reversed curse will assure Emily Blunts character gets pregnant.

And into the woods they go … *sings that last part

We all know the story of Cinderella, and Rapunzel, and Jack & the Beanstalk, and Little Red Riding Hood, right? Think Brothers Grimm (See? I told you I’d mention them again). James Lapine intertwined all four of those stories. Here’s what you really need to know:

The girl who played Little Red Riding Hood (Lilla Crawford) was tremendous. Johnny Depp as the big bad wolf - a complete disappointment - borderline creepy.

Chris Pine as Prince Charming was positively a dream come true. And that song he sang with that other Prince guy, was pretty special.

I also really liked Emily Blunt. There’s something ├╝ber fascinating about her.

That’s all there really is to say about this one folks. Meryl Streep wasn’t all she was cracked up to be. I think the hype might have eliminated any of the rawness that I was expecting from her brilliant acting self. Oh well.

I must must must see the theatrical production. MUST. *sings that last part

End review


B

No, No, No for Annie



Don’t be fooled by this one folks. It was lacking everything that is needed when producing a classic musical remake. Where were the fucking choreographed dance numbers? That’s all I ask. Like WTF.

Here’s what you need to know:
Jamie Foxx was sexy as hell. He can sing to me all day, everyday.

The girl who played Annie (Quvenhane’ Wallis) was tremendous.

Cameron Diaz was predictable and boring.

Rose Byrne (the girl from Bridesmaids) was heartfelt and very like able.  She's one of my favs.

That’s it though. The rest of the movie was forgettable. Ugh, this is exactly what happens when your very small budget is spent entirely on the actors and actresses.

I want my money back.  End review.

D+

Big Hero 6 Awesomeness

What can I say? This movie had me fooled.

Despite Disney’s ridiculous attempt at advertising (I had no idea this movie was about super heroes), and my annoying inability to commit to movies I don’t conceptually understand after seeing the preview, I still managed to drive myself to the theater to watch a giant, talking, plastic bag. I mean, let’s face it …

1. THERE IS/WAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN THE THEATERS TO GO SEE AT ALL - I had no other choice.

and

2. THERE IS/WAS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING IN THE THEATERS TO GO SEE AT ALL - I had no other choice.

That being said. I still think Disney should have warned me about what I was getting myself into.

Synopsis (possible spoiler alert):
Meet Hiro, a 13 year old genius with a knack for hustling elite robot fighters. He’s a genius with no real direction in life.

Enter Tadashi, the older brother who thinks Hiro’s “genius” would be better served at college.
At college we meet an outstandingly bizarre group of nerds (Go-Go, Fred, Honey Lemon, and Wasabi) and Baymax, Tadashi’s lovable robot health care professional.

Hiro’s creation of the microbot is the perfect invention to get him into college, but an evil man destroys everything.

With the help of Baymax and 4 of the coolest nerd superheroes you’ll ever meet, Hiro stirs up a plan to take down the villain. Coolest movie ever.

This movie was my everything. It reminds you what is really important in life by tearing out your soul over and over and over again. For reals, I needed 3 boxes of tissues for this one folks.

It’s perfect for the whole family.

B+

Archive